Weekend Funnies 13
November 18, 2001
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Duck Food A duck walks into a hardware store and says to the clerk "Got any duck food?" to which the clerk replies "No." The next day the duck walks into the hardware store and asks the clerk again, "Got any duck food?" The clerk impatiently replies, "No!" The duck goes into the hardware store for a third time and asks the clerk, "Got any duck food?" The clerk whirls around and says, "If you ask me that one more time I'm going to nail your little webbed feet to the floor!" The duck comes back a fourth time and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?" The surprised clerk answers, "No, we just ran out." So then the duck replies, "Got any duck food?"
Anthill Golfing Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot. So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle. Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?" Said the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."
Friar Florists Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go ask the friars to get out of business. They ignored her. So, the rival florist hired Hugh Mac Taggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop. Terrified, the friars did so. The Moral of the Story: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars !!
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