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The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several
months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were
there to support me. When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed
right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side"
"And You know what?"
What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with
warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
The Deer Hunt 1:00 am. Alarm clock rings,
2:00 am. Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed.
2:30 am. Throw everything except the kitchen sink into the
pickup.
3:00 am. Leave for the deep woods
3:15 am. Drive back home to pick up gun.
3:30 am. Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight.
4:00 am. Set up camp. Forgot the tent.
4:30 am. Head for the woods.
6:05 am. See eight deer.
6:06 am. Take aim and squeeze trigger.
6:07 am. CLICK
6:08 am. Load gun while watching deer go over hill.
8:00 am. Head back to camp.
9:00 am. Still looking for camp
10.00 am. Realize you don't know where camp is.
NOON Fire your gun for help - eat wild berries.
2:15 pm. Run out of bullets - eight deer come back.
2:20 pm. Strange feeling in stomach.
2:30 pm. Realize you have eaten poison berries.
2:45 pm. Rescued.
2:55 pm. Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
3:00 pm. Arrive back at camp.
3:30 pm. Leave camp to kill deer.
4:00 pm. Return to camp for bullets.
4:01 pm. Load gun - leave camp again.
5:00 pm. Empty gun at squirrel that is bugging you.
6:00 pm. Arrive at camp - see deer grazing in camp.
6:01 pm. Load gun.
6:02 pm. Fire gun.
6:03 pm. One dead pickup.
6:05 pm. Hunting, partner arrives in camp dragging deer.
6:06 pm Repress desire to shoot hunting partner.
6:07 pm. Fall into fire.
6:10 pm. Change clothes.
6:15 pm. Take pickup. Leave hunting partner and his deer in
camp.
6:25 pm. Pickup boils over - hole shot in block.
6:25 pm. Start walking.
6:30 pm. Stumble and fall. Drop gun in mud.
6:35 pm. Meet bear.
6:36 pm. Take aim.
6:37 pm. Fire gun. Blow up barrel, plugged with mud.
6:38 pm. Mess pants.
6:39 pm. Climb tree.
9:00 pm. Bear leaves.
9:05 pm. Wrap stupid gun around tree.
MIDNIGHT Home at last.
Sunday Watch football game on TV slowly tearing hunting license
into small pieces, place in envelope and mail to Game Department
with detailed instructions on where to place it.
Communion
In church this past Sunday, we celebrated Communion. During
the "Children's
Sermon", the minister was talking about communion and what it is
all about.
The Bible talks of Holy Communion being a "joyful feast". What
does that mean? Well, "joyful" means happy, right? And a feast is a meal. So a
"joyful feast"
is a Happy Meal. And what are the three things we need for a
happy meal?" The little boy sitting in front raise his hand and said,
"Hamburger, fries,
and a regular soft drink?"
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